


child development

by edensnotwriting



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Rey - Fandom, Rey/Kylo Ren - Fandom, Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, ben solo - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, High School, child development class, high school reylo au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23205418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edensnotwriting/pseuds/edensnotwriting
Summary: Rey and Ben Solo both attend Galactic High, and are taking a child development course their senior year. Previous run-ins in the past and other fights have left them feeling a mutual disdain for each other. When they are paired up to take care of a artificial child, will their hatred continue? Or turn into something else...
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 46
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is my first time writing fan fiction, so I hope I did okay. I love Rey and Ben more than anything and high school aus are just *chefs kiss*. I hope you enjoy! :)

He was hard to miss.

Long, raven black hair, softer than she could comprehend. It fell in gentle waves across his head and just past his ears. The texture dependent on how many times he had run his fingers through it.

Six foot and broad shouldered, he fit the perfect description of the star high school athlete. His features, gentle, but masked. His dark eyes often threw glances at Rey, but not for the reason a girl would hope.

They had never gotten along. Rey had moved in and out of foster homes for as long as she could remember. When she was about 13, she had found a permanent home with a foster family in the neighborhood of Jakku. And unfortunately for her, the same neighborhood as Ben Solo. The placement crushed whatever hope there was of ‘the boy next door’ type of relationship, instead replaced with a kind of mutual hatred. 

The houses had been nice, but she could not say the same for her adoptive family. Two 30-somethings with a habit of drinking left Rey moving out to an apartment on the more run-down side of town the second she had turned 18. And not only had she endured a shitty homelife, but her neighbor was no help either.

Son of superintendent Leia Organa and star high school basketball player Han Solo, he was the town’s resident golden boy. 

Except that he wasn’t.

Trying his hand at whatever he could to make Rey annoyed for the 5 not-so-wonderful years they spent as neighbors. It started out with teasing. Poking fun at her here and there and of course, she had returned the favors. While he did make her life a living hell, she was just glad he had never seemed to intentionally and deeply hurt her, even if she had sworn to loathe him for all eternity. 

He was constantly sent out of class, but never tried for any real trouble. The only detention he had received was for mixing the wrong chemicals on purpose in science class in 9th grade and causing a minor explosion that reeked so bad, it shut down the science wing for almost a week. 

And on top of the trouble-making joker he played himself out to be, he had a special talent for pissing every teacher off.  
But especially in this class, she hoped he would lay his skills to rest.

It was a monday morning in early September, as the first semester commenced. She didn’t know what to expect from him this year, and a part of her was afraid of it.

He sauntered into classroom 308, Child Development, exactly 5 minutes after the bell rang. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for him, and was excused from Ms. Holdo as it “was the first day” and it “would take everyone a bit to adjust to their schedules”. Except this was their senior year, and they were expected to be well acquainted with the building.

He donned a dark black sweater that concealed any trace of muscles, dark jeans, and nikes. 

Rey had chosen a seat more towards the back of the class, and was relieved to have no one to sit next to her. Besides Rose and Finn, she was not the best at maintaining friendships, let alone classroom acquaintances. 

Ben, standing two feet in front of the doorway, backpack slung over his shoulder, glanced at the board and saw an assignment under a big bold word “Homework”. 

“Come on Holdo, homework on the first day?” He whined.

“Move along, find a seat.” Holdo said, showing impatience for his game.

The seats in the classroom had been filled up, and Ben, having been five minutes late, had to resort to whatever was left in the back.

The seat that happened to be next to Rey.

This is not fucking happening.

“Morning, sunshine.” He quipped with a smirk, sliding into the seat next to her.

He set down his back pack and pulled out a pencil. The bag didn’t seem stocked with supplies. Rey’s wasn’t either. But then again, her money was better spent on rent and ramen.

“Alright. So as you know, this class is infamous for the baby assignments, where you and a partner will be taking care of an artificial baby doll, programmed to need to be fed, changed, and all that other good stuff.” Ms. Holdo started.

That project was the only thing Rey feared about this class. She knew they would be partnered up, and she already didn’t do well with group participation. Let alone raising a fake baby together. 

Holdo continued on a rant that lasted five minutes long, talking about what the course would look like, rough due dates, and assignments they should expect throughout the semester.

“I will now be handing out a worksheet. It won’t count for a grade, I just want to see where you lie in terms of your knowledge of child development.” Holdo said, passing out a sheet.

“Great.” She heard Ben mutter from the seat next to her.

They received their papers and began working, and not long after, the bell rang. It was a half day.

She rushed through the halls and gathered her things in the clumsy brown bag she called a backpack. She met Rose and Finn outside of the school where they were having a conversation about one of their classes. Of course they had classes together.

Finn’s face lit up as soon as he saw Rey. She arrived at school late that morning, and hadn’t had a chance to see him before classes commenced. 

“Hey, peanut!” He exclaimed, Rose looking just as happy to see her.

She had been best friends with Finn ever since she moved here. Having similar home life situations, they naturally gravitated toward each other. He started dating Rose their freshmen year, and the three of them had grown very close. Rey never really felt as though she was third wheeling, although they could be a little touchy sometimes.

“Hi!” She quipped, pulling her arms around him in response to the hug he initiated. 

She also greeted Rose, and complimented her outfit. Having a short conversation before Finn blurted out,

“We heard about you having child development with Solo,”

“Tragic really.” Added Rose, causing a wave of laughter through the group.

“It wasn’t so bad. Although he arrived late, and of course the only seat available was right next to me.” She responded.

She wouldn’t loathe him as much if he wasn’t such an easy person to loathe. Picking and prodding, annoying her in every way that he could. He had natural skills at flirting, and that was just another way he could tease her. 

Morning, Sunshine.

She realised she had been lost in thought when both Finn and Rose were turned to her, seeming to await a response. 

“You alright, peanut?” Finn asked.

“Yea I’m fine. Just tired I guess.” She responded, even though all three of them knew she was lying.

They chatted more about their classes and teachers. Rose noted that she had Professor Yoda, and how it truly shocked her that he hadn’t gone into retirement yet. Finn mentioned something about his math class and his group, but before she knew it the conversation was over.

They waved goodbye. Rey headed to the bike rack to collect the shabby thing she called a bike. She got it at a garage sale about a year ago, and it wasn’t the best, but it worked just fine. Finn and Rose headed to the other direction, holding hands as they walked.

And part of Rey couldn’t help but wish there was someone like that for her. Someone, that when she was with them, it felt like home.

***

She grabbed her keys from the back of her backpack and opened the door to the apartment.  
Taking off her shoes as she headed towards the kitchen for a snack. 

Ramen in hand, she headed towards the couch. Putting up her medium-length brown curls into the messiest bun she could manage. She took off her sweater, leaving her in leggings and a tank top. She opened her school bag and commenced doing her homework.

The classes she was taking this semester were what was expected of her, going into the engineering field. She took mechanics, algebra, engineering, and child development.  
Obviously, one of those classes stuck out like a sore thumb. She always opted for more math and mechanical-focused courses, but when it came to the end of her junior year, she was lacking creative credits. She opted for an art class that semester, and child development for the first semester of senior year. 

She was not fond of child development, nor fond of the idea that she would be taking the course with none other than Ben Solo. 

Her stomach turned as she thought of him. He was too smart. Too quick. She was clever, but he always upped her in sly responses. He was spoiled. Coming from small-town royalty. She had never met his father, but heard great things about “the high school basketball legend Han Solo”. Leia, however, she had met. 

When Rey had been 17, almost turning 18, she began working overtime at Maz’s Diner, in order to pay for the apartment she planned on buying the moment she turned 18. As a result, her grades were slipping. Nothing major, but it was a stressful time. Rey, having been known for her outstanding academic achievements, was noticeable when her grades had started slipping. 

She had recently won a state-wide engineering competition, in which Leia Organa had been in attendance along with the other superintendents of the competing schools. When Rey had won for her small scale replica of a galactic rover, Leia took a picture with her for the newspaper. It was after the picture when she had pulled her aside.

“As you know, grades are a requirement for this competition, and noting there have been multiple rounds, we must keep up with the contestant’s grades.” Leia started.

Rey was aware. It was the reason she worked so hard. This engineering program would look good on her college applications, increasing her chance for a better future. So she wouldn’t end up as a nobody from nowhere.

“I have started to notice your grades slipping, and I wanted to check to see if you were doing okay.” Leia continued.

Leia knew about her homelife situation. Not quite everything about her adoptive parents, but more so about her moving from foster home to foster home. 

Leia ran a charity organization that helped children in foster care have access to creative arts. She was one of the kindest souls Rey had ever known, which might have been why she teared up a bit when trying to explain the situation.

Rey explained having a bad homelife, and wanting independence. Her working overtime at Maz’s. Her plan to move to an apartment. When she was finished, Leia didn’t hesitate before saying,

“My niece, Kaydel, is a local real estate agent. If you would like, she could be able to help in your apartment search.”

Rey didn’t know how to react to such an act of kindness, something genuine she had not received in a long time. 

“I-,” Rey stammered over her words. “I don’t know what to say I-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Leia responded in the most soothing voice she could manage. “It’s nothing. I have your email, and I’ll let Kay know, I’ll have you two set up in no time.”

Rey thanked her profusely. Without Kaydel, she might still be living at home. Except that it wasn’t her home. Just a place she had once lived.

**  
That night as she lay in bed, she played back the day’s events. Nothing to much of her interest, except for Ben Solo. Although he didn’t grab her special interest. But the idea of what the year would bring in child development, especially with him, had her tossing and turning until eventually drifting off.  
**

Shit.

Now she was late. She must have forgotten to set her alarm or something because it was 7:00, and she needed to leave in 10 minutes. She rushed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She slipped on sweatpants, a band t-shirt of the cantina band, her favorite, and barely brushed her scraggly hair before managing to put it into a bun. Kind of.

She grabbed her backpack and a handful of cereal and was out the door.

Much to her dismay, but very much expected, she arrived almost 10 minutes late.  
She took a deep breath before entering room 308. Ms. Holdo had already commenced a beginning-of-class rant as she stopped to acknowledge Rey’s presence. 

“You’re late, Miss. Niima.” She said, no trace of patience in her gaze.

“I-know, I’m sorry I just woke-” Rey stuttered.

Holdo raised a hand as if to silence her, to which Rey obeyed and held her tongue.

“Spare me the details. Just take your seat”

As she mustered up her courage to walk past the judging glares to her unreserved-reserved seat at the back of the class, she heard Ben Solo snicker.

Really?

She had enough stress this morning and didn’t need anything else on top of it, and so she ignored him and took her seat.

“Lovely hair, by the way. Love what you’ve done with it.” He quipped.

“Thanks. Wish I could say the same about you.” She retorted.

He made a mocking, fake-wounded expression before turning his attention back to whatever Holdo was going on about. 

“Your partners will be chosen today. Because of mishaps and issues in the past, they will be completely random pairings.”

The class groaned.

Rey panicked in her seat, squirming and trying her best to stay still.

She had not expected this project to be this early. Maybe later in the semester, or never would be better. 

She had no time to dwell on this anymore, because Holdo had begun selecting partners. 

“Hux… and… Jess”

“Jannah…. and… Poe.”

With each passing minute and each pair announced, the tension grew higher.

“Rey and….” 

Rey could feel her heartbeat speeding up to the point where she felt as if it would explode. It wasn’t a big deal. She was just making it out to be bigger than it actually was, she tried to remind herself. Maybe she would be paired with Tess, or maybe-

“. . . Ben Solo.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the pairing of Rey and Ben for the project...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god. I can’t thank you all enough for the positive response on this fic!! I really wasn’t expecting it to gain any attention at all, but the positive comments and everything mean so much. I will most likely by updating every Saturday, and possibly Wednesday, depending on my schedule. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!! <3

There was no way.

This was not happening.

Rey blinked in disbelief while trying to comprehend the fact that she would be raising a child. 

_ With him. _

A part of her did not believe that this was happening, but as Ms.Holdo continued to list the pairings, she knew it was no mistake.

Finally regaining some sense of reality, she looked over to Ben to find he was already staring at her. Grinning.

_ Was this funny to him? Is this what he wanted? _

It couldn’t have been. And yet he sat next to her, a mess of raven dark hair and black sweatpants and the smell of sandalwood, and a smirk on his face.

“Looks as though fate has brought us together again, sunshine.” He teased.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much. And if you don’t put the effort into this project, you’ll regret this chance of fate, Solo.” She retorted.

“Ouch.” He replied, again with a teasing look of being hurt. He knew what this was doing to her. And he  _ enjoyed _ it.

“Don’t be afraid,” He said mockingly, softly placing a hand on her arm. Her heart jumped. Solo being cocky about their being paired up she expected, but not this. She brushed the feeling off as simply catching her off guard.

“I feel it too.” He added. 

“And soon you’ll feel my foot up your ass if you don’t knock it off.” She snapped, brushing his hand off of her arm. 

He laughed.

_ He was laughing. _

He turned back away from her, sliding back into his seat in a casual position. His attention was still on her as she tried to take hers off of him. She had no clue how this project was going to go, and she was scared to find out. 

The reminisce of a grin was still present in his features. She still remembered the feeling of his hand on her arm, and his dark eyes studying her face. 

When Holdo was finished announcing the pairings, she left the partners to their own devices to start becoming acquainted as she started passing out the paper with the requirements and other information for the project. 

“Looks like you're stuck with me.” He started, the smirk returning.

“Oh, lucky me.” She replied.

“You know, I might not be as bad as you think I am if you got to know me.” He said. He was obviously being sarcastic, but there was still a hint of seriousness in his voice. 

The thing was, she wasn’t too fond of the idea of knowing him. From the arrogant facade he showed, there was nothing desirable about him. Besides, well, his looks. 

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair as the groups began to engage in conversations with their partners. Ben drew in closer. Subtly sliding his desk so it lined up with hers. Her mind was screaming at her to move, but still, a part of her didn’t want to.

Holdo reached their desks and handed them a paper about the project. Ben took it and glanced at it before handing it over to her. Their hands brushing against each other in the process.

It was a soft touch. And the spark between them passed like a fleeting ship. The feeling of it, she couldn’t shake. She wondered if he felt it too.

And then she thought of how ridiculous she sounded.  _ Briefly touching hands with Ben Solo as he passed a paper? A spark? _ What was she thinking about? But it seems her thoughts were validated by an all so subtle shake of his head. If her senses weren’t so heightened from the touch, she might have missed it.

She had the paper in her hands, and began to read. 

The project would be due in about a week. They would receive their artificial babies tomorrow and start taking care of them for one weeks time. It was up to them to come up with a care schedule for the baby, and when each partner would look after it. The babies were programmed so by the end of the week, Holdo would see how well each one was cared for.

When she felt that she had enough information, Rey passed the paper back to Ben. To which, he refused. Holding up his hand, he showed his unwillingness to take the sheet.

“Really?” Rey sighed.

“Yes?” Ben replied, setting his dark eyes on her. It took her a minute to organize her thoughts into words, and once she did, she couldn’t help but feel intimidated by him, even a little scared.

“You barely looked at the assignment. How am I supposed to know you’re going to do the work when you don’t even know what it is?” She questioned, getting more frustrated the more careless he seemed.

“I have plenty of time to look at it, sweetheart, so don’t worry.” He said, running his fingers through his hair. A gesture Rey followed intently with her eyes. Noticing how the waves fell back into their intricate patterns in the blackness of his hair.

He shot a confused glance at her as his fingers inched up towards the paper, taking it in his grasp. He began sorting through the words with his delicate eyes.

“Schedules?” He questioned after reading the paper and setting it back down on the desk in front of her, not taking his hand or eyes away from Rey. 

“I think I’d prefer it if we just stayed together the whole time, don’t you think? Less hassle.” He finished, the smirk setting back across his features. He knew what he was doing. 

“There is no way I will be spending more time with you then I need to.” She replied, intent on not giving him the pleasure he desired. On not falling into his trap.

“Just,” She started, her hands formed into fists at the realization of what she was about to say. Of what she was about to ask Ben Solo.

“Just give me your number please. That way we can stay in better contact throughout this week.” She said. Ben sat up from the position of resting his head in his hand, his elbow planted firmly on the desk.

“Better contact?” He quipped. “Are you sure that's all you’ll need me for?” He winked. She was about to respond, but when he began to pull his phone out of his back pocket, she saw no need.

They exchanged numbers and once they had each other's contact information in their phones, Holdo had begun her instruction again. Answering questions and showing a slideshow.

Everyone had returned their desks to their normal positions in the rows. But not Ben. Ben’s desk stayed firmly by her side, his legs crossed as his elbow softly grazed hers. Rey couldn’t help but feel overstimulated by it all. In the past 10 minutes, she had exchanged numbers with Ben Solo and came into contact with him multiple times.

Class ended and she grabbed her backpack and rushed out of the room before Ben even had a chance to get up. She wasn’t sure she could handle another encounter with him.

***

Rey met Rose and Finn outside of the school. Today they walked together, as they were going out to grab something to eat. Rose and Finn chatted about their day. Rey, for once, was glad that they seemed to have a conversation on a topic that only involved them, because she had to have some time to process everything going on in her life right now.

They made it to the restaurant and Rose must have noticed her silence and distance from the conversation.

“Are you okay?” She asked. 

“Yea, I’m fine. Just overwhelmed. Child development is-”

“Is it Ben?” Finn interrupted, sitting up more in the booth as a sort of act of defiance, a certain annoyance resting on his features.

“I’ll fight him if he even thinks about giving you any trouble, Rey. I swe-” 

“No. It's not that.” She cut him off. Rey knew how much Finn hated Ben. They used to be friends in middle school, but seemed to have a falling out, and now a mutual hatred.

“It's just-” She began explaining. “The project. The one where we take care of the robot-artificial-baby-things, you know?”

Rose and Finn both nodded their heads and inched forward, seeming intent on what she was about to say.

“I’ve been partnered with Ben.” She let out. It was a relief to tell someone, she had to admit it at some point. They were, after all, the people she was closest to.

“So who's your partner then?” Finn questioned.

A look of confusion must have given Rey’s unsaid response away. 

“I mean, you must have gotten your partner switched, right?”

Rey sat back in the booth, slouching. She didn’t. She knew it was an option, and she didn’t. And she had no idea why.

“Not exactly.” She responded.

“So you’re telling me, you are going through with this project, with  _ Ben Solo? _ ” He laughed in disbelief. But when she nodded, no trace of joking in her face, he knew she wasn’t kidding.

“But, how is it going to work out? Taking care of a child with your sworn enemy for a week doesn’t sound too fun.” Rose said. She was right.

“I don’t know. I just didn’t want to ask Holdo for another partner, okay?” Rey responded, ending the conversation. Part of that was true, she knew that. But something else about Ben sucked her in, and she couldn’t force herself to pull away. It must’ve been the way she disdained him, like no one else she ever knew. She wasn’t the kind to just hate people, and she assumed the weird sensation was just that it wasn’t a feeling she had often, and so strongly.

Finn and Rose resumed in conversation after a change in topic. Their food came and the talking was put on pause for a while. Rey picked at her kids' meal of chicken fingers and fries. Something about the conversation before had caused her appetite to disappear. 

She packed her food up in a take-out box to bring home. At least she had something other than ramen and cheap ready-meals for dinner. 

She said goodbye to Finn and Rose, after which Finn pulled her aside to say 

“I meant what I said there. If he ever gives you a problem, let me know.” 

She nodded. Finn had always been protective over her. She was appreciative for it, and glad to have someone like that willing to defend her at any given moment.

***

Rey unlocked the door to her stuffy, overwhelmingly bland apartment. She threw her back down and kicked off her shoes as she went to open the windows. It was almost seventy degrees, and her apartment had heated up throughout the day. 

She threw herself onto the couch with a sigh. Taking off her sweater after the work of pushing open the stubborn windows in the old apartment. She took a moment to catch her breath, when she felt a vibration on the cushion next to her.

Rey was definitely not popular, and by no means a frequent receiver of messages or friend requests. She assumed it was Finn or Rose, and was not so avid to pick the phone up.

When she did, it was not Finn or Rose. Not any other contact in her phone. She would have been fine with it being a notification from the weather app or whatever the hell. 

But no. There her phone was, a text waiting to be answered.

A text from Ben Solo.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taken aback from having received a text message from Ben Solo, Rey responds, and the two surprisingly make plans, although its not what you would expect...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! yes, I just updated a new chapter yesterday. yes, I am back again today. quarantine has be writing like crazy and once I finished this chapter, I knew I had to upload it right away. updates on Fridays are guaranteed, but if my schedule allows I might surprise y’all with more updates during the week ;) as always, thank you all so much for the kudos and comments!! hope you enjoy <3

_ Hi. _

The text read. Rey was confused for a moment. It wasn’t what she expected from him. He was never one to offer a plain greeting, usually adding something among the lines of “babe” or, his favorite, “sunshine”.

She unlocked her phone and texted “Hi” back. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for. There was no reason for them to be talking now, especially when the project didn’t start until tomorrow. That is when she suspected the talking and plan-making would commence.

_ Come over tomorrow? I think we should get a head start and figure out how this is going to work. _

It's not like Rey was expecting a letter from a dove, or some other formal arrangement, but this seemed awfully casual.

Ben Solo invited her. To his house. And if his parents were home, that would mean inevitably meeting them too. She was not ready for this.

Rey knew they would meet up outside of school eventually, but she assumed it would have been after they received the “baby”, and if they did meet up it would maybe be at a restaurant or something. But his house?

She was not used to seeing notifications from Ben Solo on her phone, but part of her couldn’t help but think he seemed a bit… off. He wasn’t displaying his usual flirtatious, arrogant manner in these messages. Maybe he was nervous, asking her to come to his house.

That was ridiculous. Ben Solo? Nervous about asking a girl to his house? She laughed at her stupidity.    
  
_ Ok. After school? _ She responded.

_ Yea, I can drive. _

Her stomach turned. How on Earth was she going to explain to Rose and Finn why she was going to be in  _ Ben Solo’s car _ driving to  _ Ben Solo’s house? _

She set the phone down and tried to come to terms with reality. She removed the hair tie from her mess of brown locks and ran her fingers through it. She pushed her phone farther away from her, not trying to deal with the situation she just agreed to, and would have to deal with soon.

***

Throughout the night, she debated sending Finn or Rose a text to let them know about Ben, because it would sure as hell be easier than dealing with it in person. But she just couldn’t bring herself to.

She ran a hot bath to take her mind off of things, and didn’t check her phone much the rest of the night. Part of her was scared to see another message from Ben Solo awaiting her response.

Rey slipped on a pale pink tanktop and a pair of old grey shorts and slipped into bed, burying herself into the covers despite how hot it was. She just wanted to disappear, even if the only thing she could do was disappear into a deep sleep.

***

Rey awoke the next morning with butterflies in her stomach. She slipped into jean shorts and a light purple top and brushed out her hair and it fell into its usual light brown waves. The awaiting events of the day left her appetite non existent, so she didn’t even bother to grab breakfast. Instead, opting to head out the door, surprisingly right on time.

Her senses filled with dread as she entered room 308, seeing none other than  _ him _ . Ben Solo. Wearing jeans and a grey shirt, not caring to hide the expanse of his stomach, and a vague outline of his muscles. 

Ben didn’t see her enter, as he was preoccupied with what looked to be an assignment from another class.

Rey was so relieved to be able to walk to her desk without him throwing a glance, or a flirty greeting. But somehow, him not doing so threw her off. He just seemed  _ weird _ . But he was always weird. And annoying. And ridiculous. And-

  
  
  


“Thought I wouldn’t see you come in today, sweetheart?” He quipped. While his face was buried into the work he had been occupied with, she still noticed the sound of his smirk in his voice. It was like he had read her mind. And that was  _ scary. _

“Oh definitely not. I don’t think I could be so lucky.” She replied sarcastically, sorting her things on her desk as she had pulled them out from her book bag. She was stopped in her tracks when a laugh filled the air from the seat next to her. 

Once again, she found herself in the position of being the cause of Ben’s laughter. It was actually annoying that she found pleasure in making him laugh. And she thought herself stupid when she couldn’t stop the smile growing on her face.

After their short interaction, the bell had rung and Holdo had begun instruction. She held up one of the “babies” as an example, showing and explaining everything about it to them. Once the rant was done, lasting a good twenty minutes, she gifted each pairing a “child” of their own.

Ben and Rey were the last to receive theirs. Something Rey was grateful for, as it would take a bit to adjust to the realization that this was happening, and it was happening  _ now _ . 

Holdo reached their desks, placing the carrier with the baby inside firmly on Rey’s desk. When Holdo had slipped away, Ben had taken it upon himself to move his desk so that it was touching Rey’s once again. 

Rey looked into the baby carrier to see the inevitable thing inside, an artificial child, the cause of bringing Ben and Rey together. 

_ Great. _

They had been given a girl. Her eyes dark, just like Ben’s. With a pink onesie covered in little clouds. The pairings had been left to their own devices with the children, picking names and engaging in conversation.

Rey awkwardly sat there, silent. It's not that she didn’t want to talk to Ben, but she didn’t exactly know how. Which was why she was so relieved when he cleared his throat, and began a conversation.

“Do you know any good names?” He asked, a slight crack in his voice.  _ Was he nervous? _

“Nope. Surprisingly enough I don’t name children in my free time.” She answered, jokingly.

Once again he laughed.

“How about….Jane?” He questioned a few moments later. Ben Solo was quite an unpredictable man, and that had shown no more than when he offered a baby name first.

“Jane? I guess. Why did you pick that?” She asked, genuinely curious. 

“I don’t know. Would you prefer we name her after you, love?” He retorted.

After his response, the baby started crying.

“Funny. Looks like Jane thought so too.” She answered, taking the baby out of the carrier in an effort to sooth it.

He looked surprised. It was a fleeting flash across his features, but she caught it. She assumed it was because for once, she agreed with him on something. It wasn’t a usual occurrence, maybe why her agreeing to go to his house after school surprised even her. Rey didn’t think Ben expected her to agree with him on the name, but she was fine with it. And as there was a robot baby crying in front of her, she decided there were more important issues at hand. 

Rey had managed to sooth the baby in about a minute. Ben sat beside her, almost looking ready to assume care if Rey had asked him.

The class had finished with the partners still figuring out how to deal with the “babies”. Rey and Ben took turns trying their hand at soothing the baby, but for the most part, it was quiet. Theirs seemed to be the most well behaved one in the class, although the same couldn’t be said about its “parents”. 

Rey went through the rest of the day with a knot in her stomach, wanting to put off the impending doom that was explaining to Finn and Rose her after school plans.

That's when an idea struck her.

_ She just wouldn’t tell them. _ She thought. It was a solid plan, one that she thought of as she ate lunch in the courtyard, back against the tall oak tree. 

She would simply text them or something to let them know she would be staying after school for help with a teacher. They wouldn’t think much of it, and just start walking without having a conversation with her, like they normally did at the end of their school day. They would probably be somewhat on their way by the time she was in Ben’s car, and he was driving to his house. It was perfect.

***

The end of the day arrived sooner than she wanted it too. She decided it was better to take her time gathering her things from her locker. Ben would be late anyway, and Finn and Rose would have probably left. 

As she walked through the hallways to head out of the school, her steps were interrupted by an all-too-familiar and tall-as-hell figure standing in front of her.  _ Ben. _

“There's another way out of the school, to the left. The door leads straight to the parking lot, if you’d rather take that way.” He said.

“Well do I have a choice?” She asked.

“Sure. If you’d rather walk out the front, not knowing where my car is, and instead walk to my house, then be my guest.” He quipped, a smirk looming on his face. A smirk that resided on his features way too often when she was around him.

Rey followed his lead, to the left and before she knew it, she was in an empty stairwell with Ben Solo, something about that just didn’t sit right with her. But she would have to be alone with him for almost the rest of the day, so it was something she would just have to get used to. 

They walked out to the parking lot, side by side, their quick paces almost matching each other. Rey glanced back to the school, relieved at no apparent sign of Rose and Finn. 

“Holy shit.” She blurted out once they had reached his car.

  
A black, spotless BMW. It was nicer than almost any other car in the lot. And she would soon be in it. With Ben Solo.

“Not what you’re used to?” He retorted, seeming to mock her amusement.

“Well considering I drive a beat up, yard sale bike. Yeah, this is better than what I’m used to.” She retorted, elbowing him jokingly before she walked over and pulled the door to the passenger side of the car open. 

Ben started the car without saying a word to her. And soon they were on their way out of the parking lot. 

They had turned out of the main lot, and passed the school when Rey had recognized two all-too familiar faces.

_ Finn and Rose. _

The car must have grabbed their attention. It was, after all, the nicest car in the lot.

And in the passenger seat, Rey was left facing them, as they stood on the curb waiting to cross the street.

A lump in her throat formed when the realization hit her that they saw her. They recognized it was her who was in the passenger seat of Ben Solo’s BMW.

Finn and Rose stared at her as if she had five heads.

The lump in Rey’s throat began to intensify as she saw Finn yell something. Something she couldn’t hear from the distance between them, and her being in a car, of course.

But she knew from the way his mouth formed to say it.

_ REY! _

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben deal with their first struggles as “parents”...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! sorry this chapter is coming later than usual, I realize for some of you its already after midnight, so my apologies. hope you enjoy <3

Finn must have gotten his phone out right after Ben’s car had passed, as three messages appeared on her phone. She hadn’t turned the ringer off, and Ben must have felt her heart thumping out of her chest.

“What?” He asked, glancing over.

“Nothing, it's fine.” She replied.

He shrugged. No arrogance or sarcasm, almost as if he was confused. Still, he seemed off and weird and something she couldn’t put her finger on.

_ Rey? _

_ Why are you in his car? _

_ Are you okay? _

She didn’t blame him for being nervous. He was overprotective, but so was she over him. They looked out for each other. And while it got on her nerves sometimes, she couldn’t be more grateful to have a friend like that.

_ Yes, I am fine. Talk later? _

_ Ok. _

Finn was aware of the project, but they must have both shared the thought that Ben and her would not meet up outside of school so early. The baby was seated in the back, seemingly asleep. Rey was relieved to have one less thing to worry about. 

The ride to Ben’s was painful. He played classic rock and drove with the window open. Now this was expected. Rey spent the whole ride trying to ease her nerves, and plan for the afternoon ahead.

When they arrived at his house, it was one of the nicer ones in the neighborhood. A nice mixture of stone and siding, making for a modern look. And two nicer cars in the driveway, which she assumed to be Han and Leia’s. 

Ben got out of the car without saying a word. As did Rey, grabbing the baby from the backseat. The carseat was heavy, and she might have looked like she was struggling. Ben must not have noticed, since he was already opening the door. 

As soon as he entered, and Rey had caught up to greet him, she noticed he was attacked by a small yorkie, as was she on her entrance.

Ben laughed.

“Sorry about him. That's Chewie.”

“He's the cutest!” She was overjoyed to say the least. She loved animals. None of her foster homes or friends had them, and considering she was barely affording rent, the closest thing she would get to a pet were goldfish, the crackers.

Ben set his bag down and pulled out a green folder she distinctly remembered from child development class. 

She did the same, grabbing a notebook.

“My parents are home, but they won’t bother. We have the basement to ourselves.” He said, gathering his things and heading down the steps, as Rey followed.

This basement was nicer than her entire apartment. Equipped with a bar, pool table, and ping pong table. He situated himself on the couch and pressed his lips into a line. She expected more conversation from him, but his thoughts had seemed to be somewhere else.

She sat two cushions away, close enough, but not too close for comfort. 

“So. We should make a schedule. I have work nights on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Also on Saturday afternoons.” She started. If schedule making was all he invited her over for, she couldn’t help but think that there was something else.

“Ok. So I take it that she's under my care for Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday?” He asked.

“Yes, if that's okay with you.” She replied nervously, crossing her legs and fumbling with her hands in her lap.

“I mean I just said it was, so yes.” He retorted.

There he was. That cocky, sarcastic, and arrogant Ben Solo she had come to know and hate. She rolled her eyes and shifted her bra strap as she fell more back into the chair.

“Did you listen to Holdo?” She asked. She might have seemed pressing, but she was genuinely curious. She wanted to make sure he knew everything about this project, she couldn’t risk a bad grade.

He looked up at her, a tint of confusion in his eyes as he removed a finger from his lips.

“Yes, of course I did. We need to figure out plans between our partners and see if we can both take care of the robot thing. We alternate school days in taking it to our classes.” He continued on, mocking parts of her speech, which garnered some laughter from her.

“I pay attention more than you think.” He finished, a relaxation and calmness resting over his features.

  
And she. Wanted. To. Punch him. Not because of what he said, or how he said it. But because he could  _ be _ so calm and relxaed while Rey was simply, freaking the fuck out. She was aware of every bead of sweat on her body. And the shakiness in her words, and how she was fumbling with her hands too much.

Before Rey could interject, the baby started crying. She began to reach into the carrier to her left on the ground, but Ben had the same idea.

They brushed hands briefly, Rey had pulled hers away in shock of their touches colliding. Ben looked confused, but brushed it off. Picking up Jane and getting a bottle. It was a while since she had been fed. The baby calmed down after a while.

“You asked why I picked Jane,” He started. He had a slight crack in his throat, she barely noticed. He cleared his throat and continued.

“It was the first name to come to my mind. I- Everytime I see you, you always seem to be reading. And it's always a Jane Austen novel.” He cleared his throat once more and reached down to put Jane back into the carrier. “You had it in your bag that day, and it was the name I thought of.”

She slightly recalled fumbling with that book.  _ Pride and Prejudice _ , she had been reading. It had risen up when she pulled her folder out, and she must have clumsily fumbled with it in a way that apparently grabbed Ben Solo’s attention.

She smiled. “Have you read it?”

“I feel like I was supposed to, maybe for English once.” He replied nonchalantly. 

_ “I pay attention more than you think” my ass. _ She thought. 

She sighed. “Do you perhaps read anything else?”

He threw a glance at her, his smile from earlier still leaving a sparkle in his eye.

“Like books?” He asked.

“That is a traditionally acceptable format, yes.” She retorted.

He laughed and sat back to cross his legs. 

“Not really. Never been much of a reader, my mother on the other hand…” He let the sentence linger. Rey recalled his mother, she was fond of her and she seemed so warm and kind. Rey wanted to recall her own mother, but the memories left her long ago. She was so young when her parents left. No promise of returning, no nothing. And yet Rey held out hope for their return.

They sat awkwardly, Ben asking a question on the project every once in a while. Today was a Tuesday, so it seemed Rey would be taking Jane home. 

By 3:00, Rey had been sitting in Ben Solo’s basement for about twenty minutes before she decided she really should go. She had a shit ton of math to do, and a variety of worksheets for other classes. Ben offered to drive her home, which she accepted. The ride had been mostly quiet, until he pulled up to her apartment.

“Thanks.” She said, beginning to step out of the car, gathering her bag and a baby carrier. 

“No problem, have fun with the crying all night.” He winked. 

It wasn’t like she had a good night's sleep often anyways.

She gathered her keys to unlock the door, as she heard him pull out and drive off.

She plopped her bag and gently set Jane on the floor in her bedroom. 

Shit, that carrier was heavy.

5:00 had rolled around, she sat on the couch with an early dinner and began working. She had a big math project due at the end of the week and had to begin working. She had almost no other time with work. She should have brought this up to Ben.

She hadn’t been much into the assignment when she heard a weird-cry from her bedroom. It was Jane, but she would take a while to get used to the sound of a robot baby. As weird as this whole thing was. Jane was almost perfect in her sense of behavior, never super loud or fussy for a long period of time. 

***

Rey was on the verge of a breakdown. It had been an hour and a half. Jane had a full tantrum, and would not stop crying. Rey tried everything, bottle, diaper, rocking, leaving alone. Nothing was working. 

And when Rey had sat back down to continue working at around 7:30 and was interrupted shortly after when Jane started again. Rey broke down. She was so stressed and bottled everything up until it erupted.

The intervals of crying lasted until 8, when Rey couldn’t take it anymore. She had to get this project done.

She had to turn to her last resort. 

Rey turned on her phone and frantically typed out the message.

The reply came a few way-too-long minutes after.

_ Ok. Be right there.  _

And Ben Solo was on his way.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of adding Ben’s POV every once in a while, maybe a few times a chapter. I think it would be easier to see where he is coming from sometimes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo is on his way to Rey’s apartment. She is filled with regret for asking, but he might not feel the same...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! I incorporated more of Ben’s POV in this story, so I hope that worked out well. enjoy :)

It had only been a few minutes after sending the text, and she had already regretted it. It felt too forward, too soon. But she was stressed and didn’t know what else to do. She nervously awaited Ben’s arrival by pacing her apartment, opening and closing the windows, and checking her phone about every 5 seconds. All the while her mind was doing mental gymnastics.

___________________________

Receiving a text from Rey Niima inviting him to her house was just about the last thing he had expected that night. He had finished his assignments, almost. Some he put to the side for later or to never complete.

Part of him stayed concerned. She was probably stressed out and panicked, and when people were like that around him, he didn’t necessarily make them feel better. He grabbed his bag and headed to her place.

His plan was probably to take Jane for that night. Rey mentioned something about a project. He knew it would be hard to put that kind of effort into school, even if he didn’t actually. He received a location she said was her apartment, on the rougher side of town. Not too bad, but he wondered why her parents settled there.

They lived next to each other as kids, his mom had always talked about how nice of a girl she seemed and how Ben should play with her more often. Although he never did. She moved around middle school, and besides some run-ins in the hallways and class, he didn’t think much of her since.

Ben pulled his car to a parking spot a few rows down from her apartment number. It was a bland beige building with what looked like to be golden numbers on the doors, although the gold covering had long worn off. It wasn’t exactly what he was used to.

He grabbed his bag and prepared himself for whatever was waiting for him inside that apartment.

___________________________

A soft rasp on the door awakened Rey from her mental frenzy as she calmed herself to open it.

And there he was.

Ben Solo. His dark hair more ruffled, and he looked more stressed and worn out. He wore the same outfit from earlier that day, although she had changed into a random tank top and shorts, it was hot as hell in her apartment. As was the person entering.

She motioned him in and for a moment they stood there in silence. She explained the situation while going to the couch where her work was laid out.

“I’m sorry to have you over so late, I’m sure you have much better things to do.” She rushed out while finding how to word the situation. The last thing she wanted was to make him think she enjoyed and wanted his company. And she was trying to convince herself that she did not.

Ben looked as if he were going to say something, but closed his mouth and pressed it into a fine line with a slight nod.

“I have a math project due. I had to get it done and I just- She kept crying and fussing and I didn’t know what to do. Of course now she’s fine.” Just minutes after his arrival, Jane had resumed back to normal.

He nodded again. “So is it better if I take her tonight? Or would you rather me stay here?” He said with a wink.

Rey had balled her fists to her sides and could feel her face becoming flushed.

“No, you cannot stay here. Just take her for the night, please?”

He silently agreed, and went to the table where the carrier sat to pick it up and returned to his place by the door. 

Ben was almost heading out when he turned to say something. Rey figured this is what he had debated upon saying since he arrived.

“I don’t know how much of a help this would be, but Holdo said we could have our parents help us. My mom even offered to-” He stopped in his tracks.

___________________________

Ben watched the color drain from Rey’s face. Her mouth went flat.

“My parents are dead.” She choked out. “I don’t think they’ll be much help.”

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know a lot about her situation but he felt stupid to just infer something like that.

“I-I didn-t know. I’m so s-”

“It’s fine. I get that a lot. But thanks.” She replied. Her arms had crossed and she looked tense all over. Her expression was unreadable and while she insisted she was okay, he could tell there was a deeper level to the situation then she let on.

“Bye.” Ben said softly. He felt like crawling out of his skin.

_ What the hell was I thinking? She’s stressed out enough and to press the topic of parents? _

He slipped out the door nervously and unlocked his car door and sat there for a moment. He nervously ran his fingers through his tousled hair and placed his face in his hands. He started the car and began to head home, baby carrier in the back seat.

Leaving her, not being near her felt off and weird. It was a strange feeling, one that he wasn’t willing to accept. Throughout his drive, he couldn’t help but think about the girl on the other side of that door, almost completely alone.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my apologies for this chapter being a little shorter, this scene was mainly used as a build and release point with the tension between them, and a set up for the development in the next few chapters ;)
> 
> also this story is fairly new, and my first fanfic, so please bear with me as I figure out my rhythm!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! my apologies for not updating last week. quarantine is somewhat freeing, but its easy to get swept up and all. I hope the end of this chapter makes up for that ;)

Rey didn’t know how to feel. About the situation. About him. She never knew how to feel about it.

He left as awkwardly as he came in, all 6 feet and 2 inches of him. 

She wasn’t particularly sad about her parents’ death, she hardly knew them. Still, she missed out on those bonding moments, and wished with every part of her that she didn’t.

Rey didn’t blame him for leaving so abruptly, it was awkward but she didn’t take offense to it.

She sat down on the couch trying to zone herself into her work. It was easier now that Jane was not her responsibility, but Ben was still occupying her thoughts.

She was trying to hate him. She really was.

Before long, she finished the project and tucked herself into bed, willing the sleep to take her and her thoughts of Ben.

___________________________________

The next day, Ben wasn’t in child development. Rey assumed he had been sick or was skipping.

Although from conversations at lunch, she gathered he had been at school that day.

The day went by slow, nothing interesting. Rey had completed a small packet on caring for the prototype dolls, since her actual doll was with her partner. And God knows where he was.

She set her phone on a shelf in her locker while she gathered her things into the small sack she referred to as a backpack. She was about to zipper it when she noticed her phone had been vibrating. It was a text from Ben.

_ Hey. Sorry about yesterday. Can you take Jane tonight? _

_ Yes. _

She knew she would have to make up for yesterday. And she hadn’t had any big projects today, so she willed herself to invite Ben over after school so they could handoff Jane. 

__________________________________________

Not to sugar coat, but he was nervous as hell.

Ben wasn’t happy with the way things ended yesterday and the way he responded. He just left. Who does that?

He felt like a complete dick.

And to make matters worse, it wasn’t even that occupying his thoughts. It was all her. 

But it wasn't an attraction, he had to be sure of it.

But he wasn’t.

He skipped child development because he didn’t feel ready to see her again. To face her. He knew he would eventually, but that was better done after school. He rushed out the building to throw his bag in his car. He started it up and made his way downtown, slow enough that she would have settled down once he arrived.

___________________________________________

Rey rushed home on her sad excuse of a bike. She couldn’t wait. She was supposed to talk to Finn through face time about everything going on, she was just so busy and haven't had a chance to talk to him in a while. And he was her best friend, their connection was strong and when they weren’t talking, it just felt weird.

It was so hot outside that once she was home, she stripped herself of all of her clothing and lay on her bed, trying to reduce the amount of sweat. She eagerly began texting Finn about when he would be able to call.

She knew what she needed to talk to him about. Ben. And she didn’t know how to do it. But nonetheless, she needed to speak to her best friend. Rey needed to speak to anyone about this. She was angry. And she hated that it wasn’t at anything in particular he had done. He was annoying, sure. But he wasn’t evil. She just hated it.

Rey hated the way he looked at her.

She hated his stupid smirk and the way his dark eyes made her feel so exposed.

She hated the warmth pooling in her belly every time he occupied his thoughts. 

She was mad at everything about him. And also mad at herself for feeling this way.

Finn hadn’t answered her yet. After a few minutes, she heard a knock at the door. She assumed it was a package, she had ordered something a few weeks ago she couldn’t quite remember. She threw on the first pair of shorts she could find and a sports bra. Her hair remained down, laid in rough curls across her shoulders.

Rey went to pick up the package, but that wasn’t what was on the other side of the door.

____________________________________________

_ Holy shit. _

As if the audacity she had to occupy his thoughts wasn’t enough, here she was. In the shortest pair of shorts he had ever seen and a sports bra. She looked as unsettled and thrown off as he felt. Did she forget?

“Oh, um. My bad. Come in.” She stammered.

He walked through the door as she moved awkwardly to the side.

Ben set the baby carrier on the floor once he was in the apartment, taking everything in once more. 

She just looked perfect. Her hair was slightly curly, falling in graceful waves across her shoulders. And he was angry. Angry at how she was so obviously not put together. Such a mess. And still the most gorgeous thing he has ever seen. Rey Niima had such an effect on him. And he hated that.

He felt awkward, he must have been looking at her for too long. “Sorry. Again, about yesterday I just-”

“God, how many times are you going to apologise for that?” She asked, seeming completely done with him.

Ben had no idea what to say, but she saw the question on his face.

“I get it. You’re sorry about it. But how would you have known? I guess it's just the norm for people like you.” She said, the words coming out way harsher than she had intended. 

“People like me?” He questioned, balling his hands in fists at his side.

“Yes! Everything is handed to you, you live a life of practical perfection. You live in a nice house with nice parents. Who are still together and always there for you. You just assume everyone else leads that kind of life.” She answered, her face growing red.

Rey thought she had him all figured out, but she didn’t. She didn’t know him.

“That's what you think it's like? Really?” 

“Yes.”

He stepped closer, realising she had done the same. Their anger reflected on each other's faces.

“No, it's not. You have no idea what it's like. You assume that just because my parents are alive and together means they do everything perfectly. That they’re everything I need. That's not it, and you know it.” Ben said, careful not to raise his voice too much.

“You just don’t see it! You just take everything you have for granted. Even if you didn’t have a perfect life with your parents, you still would have more than most people. And you could be less arrogant.” She retorted, on the brink of yelling.

He tried to remain peaceful, but it wasn’t working. He couldn’t control himself around her. 

“So this is your opinion of me?”

“Yes.” 

“Very well.”

He turned to make his way to the door before he heard her call his name. Ben didn’t get a full glimpse at her before he fully turned around. The moment he faced her, she was closer than he expected. They were even closer than he expected once again, when she brought her lips to his.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone!! I hope you’re all happy and healthy. this chapter was longer than I initially planned. there isn’t a lot happening (besides the kiss hehe) in terms of the plot, but you get an inside look at ben and rey. I added a lot of nostalgia and an insight to their past so you can see more of what they’re like. I hope you enjoy :)

It was completely unlike anything else she had felt before. She had known emotions, and feelings. Or at least she thought she did. The moment she pressed her lips to his, the grip she had on her feelings were lost. 

She was falling. She felt it. And there was nothing she could do about it. It felt like she was being torn apart and put together again all at once.

Rey held her lips to his and pulled away, trying to realize the situation she had just put herself in. The situation that she had put Ben Solo in.

She can’t say she knew what to expect after she pulled away but it certainly wasn’t this. Ben stared at her for a moment. She felt so exposed. Rey was fully clothed, granted more exposed than she was used to, but it felt like he could see every inch of her. His gaze deepened as he pulled her to him, cupping her face in his all-too-large hands. Their lips slipped together in a mess of kisses as they both stumbled back from the door. But not once did his grip on her loosen. 

Their limbs tangled together as they reached the side of the singular green couch in the apartment. Ben pressed Rey up to the edge as she pulled her leg around him. And she ran her fingers through his hair.

Oh, how long she had waited to do that. It was softer than it looked, and smelled like coconut. As she ran her finger through the black tresses of his locks, the realization seemed to hit both of them at once.

They were making out. Rey Niima and Ben Solo, sworn enemies, had just kissed. And there was no going back from it. 

They both stopped their movements and pulled away from each other. Rey looked down, trying to hide the excessive amount of pink blooming on her cheeks. Ben nervously ran his hands through his hair as he tried to regain his composure.

“Um..I- I should go.” He stammered.

Rey nodded as she watched him move towards the door. He had almost shut it behind him when Rey found herself calling out to him once again. But not for the same reason.

“Ben,” She said.

“Yes?” He answered, turning around to open the door more so that he could look right at her. There was a glimpse of something in his dark eyes, hope, it looked like. Hope that they can resume what they were just doing a few moments ago.

“You...um..” Rey hesitated. She hated seeing him go. And she hated herself for feeling that way. “You forgot to take Jane.” Rey finished, nodding towards the baby carrier on the floor.

A look of embarrassment washed over his features, something Rey never thought she would see on the face of Ben Solo.

“Ah.” He sighed, going to reach for the carrier. When he had it in his grip, he began moving towards the door once again. This time glancing back at Rey as he shut the door to her apartment.

It took her a moment to fully comprehend what had just happened, because there was no way. No way that she had just kissed him. No way that when she stopped, he kissed her back. No way.

She slowly walked back towards her bedroom and flopped on the bed, staring at her ceiling as if it held the answers she was looking for.

________________________________________

_ What _

_ The _

_ Fuck? _

Ben stood outside of her apartment for a moment, finding the will to move to his car. Which he eventually did, probably while looking like a complete idiot. He was dazed out of his mind. His mind was swarming with the feeling of the spark lighting up the room when their lips touched. Of him holding her face in his hands.

Oh, how long he waited to do that.

He unlocked his car and placed the baby carrier in the backseat. He sat in the front, trying to clear his mind so he wouldn’t be distracted for the drive. But he just couldn’t. It was so much. And it had all happened so fast. And he wanted it to happen again. 

She probably didn’t feel the same way. There was no way. Sure she initiated the kiss, but it was probably just a fling. Something she needed to get out of her system. They were both under a lot of stress, so it was easy to think that a makeout session could take your mind off of things. 

Yea, that was totally it. He started the car as he tried to convince himself that he felt the same way.

__________________________________

After staring at the ceiling for around 10 minutes and still getting no answers, she glanced at her laptop laying open on the bed.

_ Shit. _

She promised Finn she would talk to him about everything, they were supposed to call 15 minutes ago. But Ben. And that stupid kiss.

How on Earth was she going to explain to Finn that the reason she couldn’t answer his messages and calls was because she was too busy feeling up Ben Solo?

Any excuse was better than that one. She tried to think of any excuse to come up with. Cooking, cooking would work. She was terrible at it. She would simply say that she was having issues with the stove while making dinner and lost track of time. Perfect.

Rey quickly navigated to the facetime app, viewing the four missed calls from Finn highlighted in red. She clicked on his name to call him again. He answered immediately. 

“And where have you been?” He questioned. She could tell he was annoyed, but there was a tint of humor to his voice.

“Sorry. Problems with the stove when I was making dinner.” She answered. She had been planning that answer for the better part of two minutes, and she hopped it didn’t sound fake.

Finn’s digital image was clear, so there was no mistaking his doubt. And if that was the case, he didn’t push the issue any further.

“Rey. Be honest with me. You haven’t been talking to me lately and have seemed distant. I just- I want to know if you’re okay.” He said. He looked sad, and she hated that she made him feel that way. And it was all because she let her feelings get the best of her.

“I know. And I’m sorry. Just...feelings I guess. It's nothing to worry about, but I just need to keep this to myself. At Least for now. Okay?” She replied. Rey had hoped that Finn would trust her on this. She really didn’t want to worry him more than she already was. She absolutely hated doing that to him. Especially if it was because of Ben. Rey has tried time and time again to vow that whatever she felt for him wouldn’t affect her, or her personal life but it did. It consumed her. All the hatred, and the weird feeling mixed in there that she wasn’t quite ready to admit was attraction. All of it. 

“Ok, peanut. I just needed to know if you’re okay. I trust you, and I’m sorry if it seemed like I was trying to pry my way into your life. I’m always here for you and I am probably more protective than I should be. But I don’t want to intrude.” He said. He seemed a little down, but relieved that there was nothing serious going on that he should be made aware of.

They sat in silence for a while. On different ends of computer screens. The awkwardness was beginning to set in when Finn had finally decided to change the subject. 

“So, about that episode of Galactic Wars last night…” He started, she saw him look at the screen, a smirk on his face. Galactic Wars was a show they had enjoyed since they were younger. Way back in middle school, when they used to sneak around at sleepovers and stay up late just to watch it. The show seemed better when they were younger, and felt like it had gotten worse over the years. But they watched it all the same, it was nice to have something to laugh at.

And so they did. For the next hour they conversed on all things Galactic Wars and reminisced about the times in their middle school years that seemed the most embarrassing now that they looked back on them. Everything was good.

It was nice to have her mind off of things for that hour. And by things she meant Ben Solo. 

Rey finished up schoolwork and made the dinner that was far from anything on the stove, instead opting for a bowl of raman.

Later, she showered and ran a brush through her hair. Rey found herself doing this more than she would have liked. She didn’t have a lot of memories of her parents, and those she did have were blurry at best. But she always remembered her mom doing her hair, even if it was a distant memory. She also remarked on how it was a bonding moment in films and television shows when a mother did her daughter’s hair. She longed for that relationship. But she would never have it. And so she sat alone, running a brush through her wet hair until the tiniest of knots were gone and let her mind go back over the day. Even the parts with Ben.

__________________________

Rey went to sleep early that night, and in turn had woken up earlier than she was used to. Although it was mid September, the days still rolled along, hot as could be.

She had extra time this morning, and thought of putting more effort into her look today. But not too much so that anyone would suspect anything. Only someone who was really paying attention to her would notice. And she knew exactly who that was. The thought of him bringing a slight smile to her face. 

Rey searched her closet for some of the nicer clothes that she owned. After minutes of searching, she came across a jean skirt, not too short but just the right length. And a green off-the-shoulder blouse. She paired them with a pair of converse to dress the outfit down, grabbed a breakfast bar, and headed out the door. 

_________________________

  
  


Ben took a shower that morning and was somehow still not able to wash off the shock of yesterday. Rey Niima initiated a kiss with him. And he kissed her back.

His only solution to this was to downplay his feelings so it would feel casual. They still had a project to complete, and he couldn’t let whatever was going on between them get in the way of that. He slipped on dark jeans and a white shirt and Nike sneakers and headed out the door.

“Looking nice today, sweetie.” His mom said as he went to the kitchen to grab something for breakfast. 

Leia Organa was the superintendent of the school district, and usually left for work earlier in the morning then he left for school. It was a rare occurrence to see her down in the kitchen at the same time he went for breakfast. But welcome, nonetheless.

Ben was the embodiment of teenage angst. Frequent disobeyer of rules and some instances that could have had him sent to juvi. Of course his parents helped him out of that, so he was very thankful for that. Even if he didn’t show it. 

When Ben was young, his parents were busy. His father, being an all star basketball player in the area, had a packed schedule. Han was always traveling, always practicing. He didn’t have a lot of time to spend with Ben. And as the years passed, their relationship just felt strained.

Leia was a different story. Yes, her schedule had been filled to the brim throughout Ben’s childhood as well. But she was more patient than Han and Ben combined. She dealt with Ben’s shit, and was so collected while doing so.

His parents' almost neglect as a child caused Ben to lash out. It was the only way he could think of to get their attention. If he got into a fight at school, or had a detention, it at least meant his parents would be forced to make time for him. It was also a way to release his pent up anger. He once knocked over a desk in a classroom that left a dent in the floor. Now there was a punching bag in the garage to deal with the rage he had. He had visited a therapist when he was in middle school for about 3 years, it helped a little. They had come up with methods to help Ben deal with his anger in ways that would not danger other people. And any issues that stemmed from his distant relationship with his parents.

The three of them have tried to make up for it in Ben’s teenage years. His father retired from basketball, his mother still a superintendent, but worked to make more family time in her schedule. Ben, Han, and Leia went out for dinner at least once a week and Han and Leia constantly tried to check up on him. Casual conversations, questions, and occasional prying into their son’s life in return for the years they missed.

Ben hated to admit it but he always had a soft spot for his mother. 

“Thanks.” He replied, grabbing a piece of toast. His outfit that day wasn’t anything special, but for a mom who didn’t see him in the mornings, it was unusual.

He kissed his mom on the forehead before heading out the door. Backpack and baby carrier in hand.

____________________________

Rey arrived at room 308 early. Holdo was at the front setting everything up for the day as students trickled in. Rey had unpacked her bag and was reading her book,  _ Pride and Prejudice _ . Ben was right, she always had her nose in a book. It was a good distraction and Rey loved getting swept up in the stories. 

It was two minutes until the bell rang when Ben came walking in. His hair looked damp, as if he had just showered and left like he was running late. He donned his usual nikes and jeans, with a white shirt that was just the right fit to hint at the muscles underneath. Rey had stopped herself from looking at him any longer, and momentarily she glanced back at her book. And realised she wasn’t the only one staring at someone.

A few glances told her Ben was looking right at her as he made his way to his seat. His gaze locked, and focused. Pouring right into her and causing the butterflies in her stomach to rise. Ben took his seat without ever tearing his eyes from her.

Their attraction to each other was a solid, tense thing that filled the air around them through their quiet gazes. Neither of them wanted to admit it, it seemed. Rey went back to her book, still feeling the intensity of Ben’s gaze on her. And she knew she was in over her head.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still doing ok and social distancing! there is a rating change due to some of the events in this chapter so I hope you enjoy :)

This was a game. And they were both players. Rey wasn’t sure there was a winner. And she wasn’t sure what they were fighting for or against, but it had something to do with their feelings for each other. It was a dense, shining thing hanging in the air between them. 

It seemed the moment Ben’s eyes were on Rey, they never really left her. She caught him throughout class sneaking glances and trying to get her attention. He would tap his desk or rearrange his papers, anything to get her to look over. Holdo was instructing something about the end of their project, over in a few days. She stopped talking about halfway through the class, leaving the groups to their own devices. Most of the work with their dolls was on them. Scheduling, trading off, and the ultimate care of the baby fell on them. But as some students needed more instruction, Holdo had allowed more class time. 

As soon as they were released from listening to the lecture and allowed to converse with their partners, Ben was more than eager to slide his desk next to Rey’s. They sat for a moment, silent. They both wanted to say something, but it seemed neither of them knew what to say. Rey gathered her composure to start the conversation, deciding it was probably not best to talk about the kiss a day ago. And also how she’d like to do it again. 

_________________________

Rey stood out to him the moment he walked in the room. She always caught his eye, but especially in this outfit. She was dressed in a short jean skirt, even shorter as she sat in her seat. And her green blouse matching the unique color of her eyes. Ben remembered what it felt like to see those eyes from so up close. To have held her face in his hands, to admire her beauty. He wanted to do it again. And as soon as possible. But he didn’t know if she did. And he wasn’t about to make her uncomfortable with his desires.

Ben had one girlfriend for a week in fourth grade. They broke up when Ben decided he would rather tease the other kids on the playground than play hopscotch with her friends. Ben never exactly swore off girls from that moment on, but he never dated another one.

He had a passing interest in boys as well, and had a few crushes. He never let them lead anywhere, scared of what people would think. He was in high school and had still never come out. He was comfortable with himself, just not other people knowing that side of him.

Ben was notorious for his work with the girls in highschool though. But it wasn’t what most of them made it out to be. Yes, he went to parties. Yes, he got drunk and probably made out with a few girls. There were a few times they had gone to a seperate room, but he had never gone all the way with anyone. They always made it out to be bigger than it was, they always fed into the rumors and fueled his reputation as somewhat of a ladies man. Ben never knew why they did it, he never questioned them. He never stopped it either. If that's what they wanted to make out of the situation, fine. They could have that.

But what he had with Rey was different. He wasn’t sure what clicked, but they just weren’t exactly enemies anymore as they were previously sworn, although there was still some level of hatred between them. But Ben felt himself softening up to her, and he hated it. But as much as he hated the feeling of himself coming undone around her, he wanted it. He was surely making this up, exaggerating the feeling. But he wasn’t exactly doing anything to stop it. 

And when he sat down, he just couldn’t bring himself to look away from her. She must have known the effect that this had on him. He wanted to speak first, but didn’t know what to say. But to his relief, she began to talk.

_______________________________

“So,” she began. “Have you taken any notes so far?” Rey asked as she pulled out her notebook. They were expected to keep track of the doll’s behavior and how they both handled it. She had the schedule, and other notes.

“Um- I..” Ben stammered. It was weird to see him like this, so unsure of himself. Rey could only wish she was better at hiding how she felt than he was. She also hoped he didn’t think she wanted to ignore the kiss. The more they ignored it, the more the tension grew. And it was only a matter of time until it happened again. She felt sick with desire.

“It’s fine if you didn’t. I have a lot. Even though that is what we had to do.” Rey said sarcastically. She shot him a glance of humor, so he would know for sure she wasn’t serious. But there was something in his gaze she hadn’t noticed before, sadness, it looked like. 

They sat in silence for a moment as the conversations around them carried on. It felt as the volume in the room rose as the blush on her cheeks did. It was so awkward and she hated it. 

“Are we….. Are we going to pretend it didn’t happen?” Ben asked. He carefully moved his head to face hers and she saw the desperation there. As much as Ben wanted to seem high and mighty, he was just like anyone else. “I mean, it's fine if you do. I just don’t want to skim over it as if nothing happened-”

“No, I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen.” Rey said, rather boldly. She knew the only way to solve this was to explain what she felt outright. “And to be frank, I would like it to happen again.” She finished. Rey was doing everything in her power not to seem uncomfortable. Her gaze was off of him and on her desk as she finished it. She was strong, but not enough so to say that while looking him right in his deep brown eyes. Rey gripped her pencil hard enough that she thought it would break as she felt her face heat, no matter how hard she had tried to stop it. 

Rey was sure she ruined it. Definitely. For all she knew, Ben might have wanted to talk about how he didn’t like it, never wanted to kiss her again, and not see her until they graduated. She could be fine with that. Of course. She would be fine if he left her alone. And whatever fighting feeling deep down in her belly that constricted that, she fought to keep down. As she let her emotions get the better of her the longer they sat in silence, her train of thought was interrupted. 

Something was brushing against her hand. She rested her left hand on her desk, Ben on her left side as well. He had moved his hand so his fingers were brushing against hers. There was a spark as their skin touched. She felt the longing there.

Ben Solo’s hands. The same hands that held her face as she kissed him, their movements alive with desire. They were in the back of class, everyone else was immersed in their own individual conversations. It felt like they were alone, in their own galaxy apart from anything else.

Ben and Rey exchanged a glance and moved their hands away. Ben moved his hand slowly down by his side, Rey following the gesture. Her face was burning, she felt the blush on her cheeks, and she didn’t care. Their hands followed each other in mirrored movements until they were both at their sides. Rey’s heart was beating in her chest so hard, it felt like she was going to pass out. And as Ben closed the space between their hands, she was sure she would pass out now.

Rey felt hot and dizzy. She felt sick. But it wasn’t the bad kind. It was a sickness for his touch. She was sick with want. Want for his hands on her skin. Want for Ben Solo. 

They hadn’t formed a steady or official relationship, but what they had was something that words could not describe. She knew it for a while. As much as she hated him she couldn’t deny they had a strong connection, some invisible force pulling them together. How something just clicked when their lips met. How it felt right to be with him. To tangle her hands in his black locks. 

Their hands had moved in slight movements. Then there was a pause. They both stopped moving, there were no advances. But then in a swift move, he took his hands on hers. His grasp firm, but soft. How she managed that, she had no idea. They were looking each other in the eyes. And it took all of Rey’s strength not to kiss him right now. She held his hand harder to resist that urge. 

Their gazes became too intense, and Rey looked away. Ben did too. Both of them seeming to check the room to see if anyone was watching them. No one was. Hux, the only red head in the room, was on his phone. His partner was asleep on her desk. The other pairings were in different states of slumber or homework, going on their phone, or reading. Holdo was hunched behind her desk, all of her attention focused on the computer. No one was paying them any mind. And if there was something different in the air between them, a heat, passion, a tangible thing hanging there, they were the only ones who noticed.

Ben let go of her hand. It shouldn’t have surprised her as much as it did. She shouldn’t have felt the longing for their hands in each other as she did. Rey looked down at their hands, she couldn’t help it. That's when Ben caught her gaze. He was cool, and calm. Two things she was most definitely not. Whatever moment he had before was gone, he was more sure of himself now. Their fingers stayed close, almost brushing together. That's when Ben glanced down.

His gaze focused on her skirt. She knew where this was going. And despite herself, Rey nodded her approval.

And, no, they obviously we're not going to go  _ that _ far. They were still in class of course.

Ben’s soft fingers brushed against her knee. Her skin was burning with desire. Ben looked at her once again, focusing his deep eyes on her. She gazed back, nodding once more. That was the thing with him. This connection. Rey never was in love, sure. But she didn’t need to be to tell that this was something different. She wondered if she was overexaggerating, wondered if she was making this out to be more than it actually was. But she didn’t care. Rey wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but she knew this felt right.

Ben started to slide his hand up her thigh. The skirt only went up about halfway up her thigh when she was sitting down. She wanted to scream. She wanted to put her hand on his and force him to go faster. She wanted the climb over to sit on his lap and run his fingers through his hair. She wanted to kiss him until she couldn’t breathe. She had no control over herself when she was with him and she hated him for that. 

Ben slowly moved up her thigh. His fingers against her skin was a feeling burned in her mind forever. There for her to unpack when she lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling, needing for that feeling. It was something she would chase for the rest of her life to get if she had to. His grip on her thigh tightened as he slowly rubbed his thumb in circular motions. Ben checked again once to make sure no one was watching, and they weren’t. He brought his face close to hers, closing the distance between them. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her, but even he wasn’t that bold.

His breath was warm on her ear, close enough that she swore she could almost feel the movement of his lips. 

“My house. 8 o’clock.” He whispered. 

Rey opened her mouth to respond, but the bell rang. And Ben got out of his seat and left. She couldn’t bring herself to get up, shocked into stillness. Rey noticed a wetness that wasn’t there at the beginning of class. Ben was going to pay for this. 

  
  



End file.
